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Jenna's Space


August 12th, 2014

Damned if you do; damned if you don't... @ 09:37 pm

Current Mood: discontent discontent

So, I'm a bit distressed. The work I'm doing has been okay so far, but the past two weeks I've gotten about 38 hours... which makes for a sorry paycheck when you are used to working an average of 50+ a week. I'm a little scared because yesterday and today I only was able to get 8hrs and then 9hrs with an 'expected' 8hrs a day on average while the volume is low... 4 days a week! Around 32hrs a week? Are you fucking kidding me?! =( I can't support my family on that being the sole provider, not to mention they are pulling $146.62 a week out of my check for insurance (normally $131) for back pay for the last month before I returned for work. It's really stressing me out :(

On the positive side, I had a rough week for school work, and the extra time gave me what I needed to get my final project done that I somehow managed to misread at first (most classes I've taken at CTU, the last assignment is usually an add on to the previous week's major project (this was a 10 to 12 slide Powerpoint with 200-300 words per slide) the next week was the same making the project a 20 to 24 slide project... I spent from 1PM to midnight working on that as I misread it to be an additive of quality management of 2 to 3 slides as it looked almost identical to the first... thankfully I noted the difference and was able to get it done on time! Yay! This teacher is also super fast with grading! =D





Money is going to be tight with less hours, but I'm looking at the positive, I'd like to do some drawing, and of course getting more time with the family is always a good thing. Jason and I got in a really bad argument last Thursday... I'm not going to go into details, but we almost decided to get a divorce over it. Since then, we've gotten in touch with a marriage counselor, and our first appointment is tomorrow morning. I feel antsy about it, but I think we both need this as I really do want our relationship to work out... we've known each other since Jan 2000, and were fast best friends. Stress on both sides have caused a lot of issues, hopefully the counselor will help bring them to a head so we can get past them.
 
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From:zombiequeen
Date:August 13th, 2014 05:35 am (UTC)
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Sorry things are rough right now.
i hope they get better soon. ♥
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From:spankingfemme
Date:August 13th, 2014 06:01 am (UTC)
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Thanks. It's my weekend, so that's a plus :) Maybe I'll get some art pumped out in the near future.
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From:a_phoenixdragon
Date:August 13th, 2014 11:33 am (UTC)
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I wish things were better, honey. I totally get the stress all around...

*HUGS*
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From:spankingfemme
Date:August 15th, 2014 03:44 am (UTC)
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You've been have a rough time of it to I know (hopefully with no more dogs trying to attack you ;) Did the reaction go away quickly from the pepper spray?
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From:ficwriterjet
Date:August 13th, 2014 02:15 pm (UTC)
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That sucks that you aren't getting enough hours. :(

Congrats on the grades. :) You're doing such a great job of sticking to that. A lot of other people wouldn't be able to - especially with two little ones at home.

I'm so sorry to hear about the fight. I hope the counselor is helpful.

*hugs you tight*
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From:spankingfemme
Date:August 15th, 2014 03:41 am (UTC)
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Thanks my sweet :) I'm proud of my grades and do my best to remain diligent... with two it has been hard for sure! I'm glad Jason has been there for me for the most part in that regard.

I'm hoping the counseling helps. I think after the next two sessions I'll have a better grasp on whether it does or not.
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From:thelittlespanko
Date:August 13th, 2014 02:28 pm (UTC)
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::Hugs:: I'm really sorry to hear about everything that's going on. I'm here for you if you need it.

Hubs and I had a lot of trouble a few years ago. It was early in our marriage and there were money problems and a few other things. We got pretty bad for awhile there. I'm telling you this because, now, we're tighter than ever. There really can be light at the end of the tunnel with this, and - even though currently there is a ton of really bad shit going on right now, we're still happy because it's all exterior stuff.

Really glad you guys are working at it as you both seem good for each other. There should be a manual they give you when you get married!! Unless you go out of your way to seek it [and why would anyone until there's a problem?] there's no direction for how to do it and how to keep it good, esp during stressful times. I don't know, maybe every marriage is different and that's why they don't.

Damn, that sucks about the hours at work. Companies just do not give a shit about people. I hope it gets better soon! xx

Oh hey, almost forgot - a couple friend of ours just went through some shit, and they said the book 'the 5 languages of love' really helped them. I can't give it my own props, but hey.
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From:spankingfemme
Date:August 15th, 2014 03:38 am (UTC)
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The money isn't so much an issue with us although it leads to stress overall. I think what is the hardest is stations... Jason feels like less of a man being a stay at home dad. It causes him agitation, so in turn causes us stress as a couple.

Hours... I am hoping this changes really soon or I might have to find some other supplemental income :/

I barely have time to read stuff that I've been meaning to for ages, let alone a self help book LOL! (No offense of course, I just know me, it'd end up being another unread book on my shelf :P)
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From:kismet76
Date:August 13th, 2014 04:25 pm (UTC)

kids and money

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Kids and money always put a lot of stress on relationships...at least you are both willing to work at it...and fighting is better than not...my relationship got to where we would just not talk to each other...slam doors...leave the house...just not productive...and only one of going to counseling helped the one going, but not the relationship...

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From:spankingfemme
Date:August 15th, 2014 03:32 am (UTC)

Re: kids and money

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This is true... it would be kind of pointless if the other wouldn't go as well. It's kind of a resignation to give up :/ With us, honestly stepping away to cool down might be better since we just tend to escalate the situation otherwise.
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From:katje0711
Date:August 13th, 2014 05:54 pm (UTC)
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{{{{{HUGS}}}}} I'm sorry about the work situation. Hopefully that won't last long. I hope you and Jason are able to work things out! Believe me, Peter and I have gone through our share of issues. I can certainly relate. I'm glad Jason is willing to go to counseling with you.
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From:spankingfemme
Date:August 15th, 2014 03:29 am (UTC)
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I hope it gets busier as well; I'm trying not to think about it as worry never does anyone any good when you can't do anything about the situation other than stress me out. Jason and I have been doing okay for the most part since the incident and have gone to two sessions (one for the both of us and one for just him) this following Wed/Thurs I will go for mine and then we will follow up on Thursday together and we will see where we need to go from there.
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From:ashmedai
Date:August 13th, 2014 08:59 pm (UTC)
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Oh wow - I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you and Jason, and sending good thoughts.

*hugs*
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From:spankingfemme
Date:August 13th, 2014 10:57 pm (UTC)
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Thanks for the good vibes. On the average we are good, it's just every few months we end up having a screaming match over some ridiculousness... this last one ended with him punching my car which is completely unacceptable to me. Once bad on you, twice bad on me. If it weren't for the fact we had kids I'd have booted him to the curb with a quickness. We did get married though, and commitment does mean something to me, so we will do our best to grow and get past this.
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From:polkadotsshoes
Date:August 13th, 2014 11:27 pm (UTC)
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Yikes! Insurance is such a bitch. A lot of my co-workers have about +500 taken out of their paycheck just for medical alone.

They always say that money makes such a difference in a relationship. The boyfriend and I hit a rough patch lately because of money. We're working through it, but I know what you mean about money and stress. I hope you're able to work things out with your husband.
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From:spankingfemme
Date:August 14th, 2014 09:10 pm (UTC)
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He's a stay at home dad, so less money can be devastating. Insurance... I honestly I'd rather do without it, but having kids, I don't have a lot of choices. We started counseling yesterday, so we will see how that goes :P
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From:ladymidath
Date:August 16th, 2014 03:48 pm (UTC)
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Oh hon, it sounds like you are going through a lot of stress right now. I hope you are both able to work things out. It's good that you sought out the help of a counselor to help.
Huge hugs and sending good thoughts your way.
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From:spankingfemme
Date:August 17th, 2014 02:39 am (UTC)
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It's been rough, but it could be worse I keep telling myself. I think this last fight was an illumination on the relationship standing at a crossroads where both of us have to decide whether we are willing to keep driving together or decide to go our separate ways. I know arguments are going to happen, I'm just tired of them becoming so volatile over such stupid things that really have no business becoming an argument that big. It's a lot of under the surface stuff that when I have spoken to Jason about doesn't quite hit on the same ground when there is already loads of tension. Hopefully having a counselor will give us a chance to clear the air and move past this volcanic aggression because after this last fight, I can guarantee you, if it happens again, it'll be the last time it has a chance of happening.
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From:misterandersen
Date:August 16th, 2014 05:18 pm (UTC)
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*Hugs*
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From:spankingfemme
Date:August 17th, 2014 02:29 am (UTC)
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Thanks dear :)
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From:dungeonwriter
Date:August 17th, 2014 01:42 pm (UTC)
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Hugs, I so need to email you and send you my love, dear sister.
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From:spankingfemme
Date:August 17th, 2014 05:37 pm (UTC)
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You've been pretty busy with your own stuff going on I know
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From:thelittlespanko
Date:August 19th, 2014 08:44 pm (UTC)
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Dang, that all is really difficult. ::hugs:: I'm pulling for yas.

And no offense taken at all! I figured as much with all the many things you have going on, but I would have felt bad if I hadn't mentioned the book, ya know?
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From:spankingfemme
Date:August 22nd, 2014 03:17 am (UTC)
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It's been okay so far especially since we are going to go to Dragoncon next week! (We were not planning to, but plans fell in to place to go for Friday and Saturday, so YAY! =D I'm sure it'll be a blast and good for our relationship... or bad depending *shrugs* I think it'll be good though :P)
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From:superfan1
Date:August 23rd, 2014 04:46 pm (UTC)
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The economy have been sucking and been difficult these past few years. I hope your hours pick up soon sweetie.

I will pray for you and your family and wishing the very best! <3

Trying to give you some positive vibes.
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From:spankingfemme
Date:August 24th, 2014 03:48 am (UTC)
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*hugs* I always appreciate positive vibes :)
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From:90scartoonman
Date:August 24th, 2014 04:35 am (UTC)
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I'm sorry to hear you're having such trouble, and I feel a "hang in there" isn't enough. But if it helps, I admire your ability to face everything that's come your way and the fact that you're holding it together.
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From:spankingfemme
Date:August 24th, 2014 04:42 am (UTC)
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I am hanging in there ;) I appreciate the support. It can be stressful, and seems to keep changing all the time. I plan to post more on that in a few. Some good things as well, because I need some positive stuff to report here. :)

Jenna's Space